Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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