Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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