i was rollin on her like bob the builder
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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