whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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