I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
