it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
