I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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