You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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