i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't put those talents on a resume
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
