i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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