hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
