I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
did i walk over a car last night?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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