The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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