careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
