halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
