Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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