Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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