Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize
