Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
