pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
