Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
