Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
