i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
