omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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