the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
