Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
