can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
ttyl tear gas
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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