He told me they were just razor bumps!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize
