So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
