Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
