? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
