I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
