Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
