I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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