Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
