just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I touched a dick in church today
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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