We named our party play list daddy issues
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
