Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
