this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
