Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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