maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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