I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
