Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
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