I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
