Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
