There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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