This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
