no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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