My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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