If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
