He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
